Silent moment
by ChalakChalak
Summary: Sometimes the weirdest things come out in the silence. BBRae


Inspired by a pic by Turin-the-forsaken which can be found on his deviantart site but since stupid FFDOTNET won't let me post it, I can only tell you the name of the pic is Late Night T.V.

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Rachel Naomi Remen:

_The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words._

Lynn Johnston

_The most profound statements are often said in silence._

Sometimes the weirdest things come out during the quiet moments. Moments unexpected, unplanned but so needed that when they come, it seems as if the universe has gone out of its way to plan it. It was true on this one night when the team had been fighting bad guys all day and called it an early night; all except two. None though much of it as they filed out of the Common Room, mainly because it was the least likely pair to have something strange and unexpected happen. Heavens help it if it had been Starfire and Robin. The world would have trembled and shook in its axis at the possibility of them getting together. It wasn't like that with Raven and Beast Boy.

The Tower was always dark at this time of night. When Cyborg shut their home down, he shut it down for good. Mainly to conserve energy, the Tower would stay dark until sunrise. The only light that gave Raven the chance to keep reading her book was the television which Garfield Logan was watching. When the lights were off and the Tower was shut down, the Titans seemed to cease, no matter what anyone else thought. They may be still in uniform most of the time but after four years of being together as a team, they found that no matter what clothes they wore, they were always ready for battle.

Sitting on the couch with a few inches between them, Raven held the old, ancient book in one hand and the other arm lay gently beside her. Her violet eyes swept back and forth as she read each line carefully, grasping everything she could from the words on the page. She read like a hungry man vying for food but the concentration was not so great for her to hear Gar's deep laughter as something on the television amused him. They were both wearing their pajamas, simple sweats and T's with not much to show. Yet it was always the simplicity between them that made them who they are.

"Could you turn it down a bit?" she asked him, not taking her eyes off the pages. He glanced at her for a second before complying but his laughter continued. It didn't bother her at all; his light emotions relaxed her greatly. Whatever he was watching must have been funny because his emotions became lighter and lighter, truly genuine. Unlike the others, his emotions were rarely true which had surprised Raven the first time she figured it out. As she grew older, her powers developed drastically. Control was in her reach but there was also a heightened sense of awareness which made her see Beast Boy, Gar Logan, for who he truly was.

A fake.

The happiness he bore for the sake of others bothered her for a while until she realized that Starfire did the same for the team, especially for Robin. It was burden they all carried. Robin had to be the forever leader, Cyborg had to bear the unfairness of his half robot life, she had to suffer at being half demon spawn and Gar had to hide behind a façade that only she saw through.

And unlike any other times, she wouldn't want to have brought it up but his emotions were making her light headed. Compiled with what she knew she felt for him for a few years now, she decided to do something about it.

"What are you watching?" she asked, raising her eyes at him but there was no interest in her voice. As always, he turned to look at her face where he could see whatever emotions she was feeling. She seemed to be somewhat interested. The grin was still on his face as he murmured 'Mad TV' and worked himself up to another laughing fit. Her eyes slowly made their way to the TV in time to see the show pause for a commercial break. Gar sighed happily beside her and turned his attention to her.

"Am I too loud?"

She shook her head, the thin strips of long, straight hair hitting the sides of her chin playfully.

"I always wondered why you read so late at night," Gar started suddenly, as if continuing a long conversation about the subject, "I thought you might be bothered by all the noise," he looked pointedly at her, "You hate noise."

"Only when it's fake," she retaliated which made him frown slightly at her. She wondered if she should go on and then rationalized 'why not;'. She was his friend after all.

"You always act so nonchalantly and so happy-go-lucky but most of the time I know you're not."

He regarded carefully, because she was Raven and deserved to be regarded in such a way.

"Ok…" was all he said, though.

"And I enjoy your presence when you're not faking happiness all the time."

"Hey now," he said quickly, almost resentfully, "I don't _fake_ it."

"No, sometimes you strain it."

He didn't say anything back which made Raven believe she had made her point.

"Why are you so interested in this all of a sudden?" he asked suddenly, one green eyebrow arching high in his forehead. Raven dropped her eyes to the couch, looking at his calloused hands a few inches from hers. He didn't wear the matching gloves of his uniform and she could see from the light of the TV the nails, which he religiously cut every other week, starting to grow back.

"I can't be interested?" she asked back, allowing herself more time to think.

"Never said that," he said playfully, a grin glowing in his voice, "But you never ask—hell, we rarely talk."

"That's not true," she said quietly, a little hurt by the revelation, "We just don't communicate that way."

"There's other ways?" he asked but Raven knew he understood what she was talking about. He was teasing her.

"We have a closer connection," Raven ventured, keeping her eyes lowered on his hands which were now fidgeting slightly. He was nervous as well.

"Yeah," he helped, "Like these late night rituals."

She nodded and gulped a small lump in her throat. Mad TV came back on, promising more laughter and Raven was afraid he might go back to watching the show. After a pause, she drew the courage to lift her long eyelashes that hid her violet eyes from view to find intense green orbs looking down at her.

"You may be the only one who knows me well enough to know when I'm being truthful or not," he said quietly, more like a statement than anything else, "So please be careful with it."

Surprised by this, she nodded gently and held his hand in his. The little hairs on his arm stood up with her touch and she couldn't help the smile that came to her face, however small it might have been. To Gar, it moved the world.

"You have been careful with me as well, Gar. I can only return the favor."

His smile was genuine when he flashed it to her, the small fang showing and glinting softly by the reflection of the television. After four years, maybe they were the most advanced of the Titans. They did not need the kissing or the making out to be closer than anyone else. It was moments like this that brought them together. Still, a connection could not be forged through conversation and feelings only, as they had both found out quite suddenly.

Still, what they had was special and the mere thought of ruining it was the only thing that kept them apart. Gar had been there countless of times, to save her in more ways than one. Always protecting her in battle, always the shoulder she needed to punch (never cry on, Azar forbid) and his willingness to be thrown out of the Tower for a bawdy joke to lift her spirits never tore him down. He kept coming back for more and Raven appreciated it all. Hs efforts to make her smile did not go unrewarded. If anything, she tried her best to see it from his part. He was such a cliché superhero, really. It disgusted her how much he didn't care about the fortune, the press, not even the hot chicks that came with the hero territory. He genuinely, truly, liked helping people. This was like the ultimate volunteer work for him. Making her smile was yet another project of his…or at least it started out that way.

Blessed day it was when the sanctity of his backside had been threatened once more by a grumpy, fifteen maybe sixteen year old Raven at the attempts of the light hearted Beast boy. But he trudged on, through darkness and pain to gain a single smile from her which came in the oddest way. On a particular dark day when Rage began taking over her once more and the world seemed to be prepared to take yet another hit from the half demon, rain fell on the miserable Titans as she cursed the heavens and the hells for doing what it was doing. The taller green boy, young man really, had approached her and looked at her straight in the eyes, letting the rain pour down on them together. She gave a huge sigh, one that could have toppled him over in an instant and pushed herself into his arms, muttering a single heartbreaking sentence.

"Oh Gar, why am I the way I am?"

Gar let the darkness of that sentence drip off with the scent of the rain, crisp and pure and took her face in his bigger, clumsier hands. Looking in pools of lilac, he smiled at her, a smile so true and bright that not even the witch of darkness could deny.

"You mean beautiful, impressive, incredible, sexy…"

He trailed off, half of him scared she might not like his teasing because her face went into a dead blank. Then slowly, she whispered how bad of a liar he was and a small, almost unrecognizable smile appeared on her face.

"Needs some work," he said with an agreeable nod but his lips planted whisper small kisses on the corners of her lips and left it at that. Since then, they were much more than anyone realized. Sitting in the darkened room with the television blaring disgusting jokes about toilets and bowel movements, Raven peered at Gar with hooded eyes.

"I search myself and everyone to see what it is about us that's so different but I can't seem to pinpoint it," she started slowly then stopped and shook her head, "I've stopped trying. I just go with what I need at the moment," her eyes stared him down pointedly, "You make me feel that. Living in the moment is not my forte."

He chuckled.

"Will you throw me out of the Tower if I try to live in the moment with you right now?" he asked, his voice low and guttural. The vibrations tore her apart.

"Depends on what they are," her voice broke in the middle until she was left with a whisper. He grinned at her, his fangs showing but she found that to be so attractive.

"Lemme show you…"

The words and possibility died on her lips as he closed the small space between them but that small space had been closed long ago. Her hands instantly flew to his face but her mind was a terrible, dangerous blank. Around them, small objects tethered on the brink of breaking, surrounded by the dark magic that happily poured out of Raven. Being ever so careful to not hurt her with his canines, he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to him with a strong arm. She whimpered slightly through the kiss, letting herself be for once. He was the only one who made her feel like she could. A minute later, the toaster clattered to the floor as the blender shattered beside it. The remote on the table in front of them rattled eerily but Gar merely smiled and pulled her closer still.

She smelled like incense, woody and earthy, a smell that pleasures his senses. She was pure, natural, and his. The ever present animals cried out to reign over his new mate, to exercise the power given to him over the weaker species but he suppressed them. If the animals knew anything about Raven, they would know she was anything but a weaker specie. Still, it got to him how willingly she gave herself to him and hesitantly, damningly, he pulled away from her lips, leaving them plump and pink. Her closed eyes made for a fine sight, arousing to say the least.

When she opened them, she saw how much of a beast Gar could be. Cat like eyes glowed with love, lust, and happiness but the animals in him begged for more. Her smile only heightened them. But then she saw the humanity replace the tribal emotions, all while thinking just how incredibly gorgeous he had become. Long lost were the days were his childishness was reflected on his face. Strong jaw, chiseled face, and yes, even the pointy ears had all grown to become the man she saw today. At nineteen, he had become incredibly exotic. The animals in him made him radiate with a certain ferocity that not even Raven could deny/

"Ruff," he whispered and pushed his forehead against hers. She hummed in response.

"Is this when I tell you all that lovey dovey crap?" she asked, her whispers barely reaching his ears. He chuckled again and Raven moved her hands down to his throat to feel the vibrations flow through the skin.

"You don't have to. _We_ don't have to."

"I do," she muttered, closing her eyes once more and burying her face on his shoulders, inhaling the scent of wet dog that seemed to arouse her even more.

"I know," he mumbled against her exposed skin, the soft silkiness between shoulder and neck, "Me too."

Pulling away, she sighed and felt as if the next stage had been reached and suddenly the Tower seemed to be less dark. Not brighter, mind you, for dark days were still ahead but there was now a light that made everything seem better. Gar stole a kiss from her, or more like a bite that made Raven's heart flutter and the Hello Kitty clock that Starfire put up the day before shatter in a million pieces.

"Dude, she's going to kill you for that."

Raven shrugged and pushed him down, letting his head rest on her legs as she picked up her book once more. Settling on her, Gar continued to watch television, every now and then casting glances at a woman whom he knew he would lose, gain, love, and grieve for the rest of his life. He only acted stupid; he never was. He knew of the things to come but for now, with the Tower resting and silent and the peace unbroken, he comforted himself in knowing that when she bent down to kiss him once more, it was Raven kissing Gar Logan, at last.

His eyes closed soon afterwards, her hand enclosed in his as the other held the ancient book. A smile seemed permanently implanted on her face but she never once tried to shake it away. The lines suddenly seemed unimportant as the night passed and the quiet moment became so much more.

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I'm working on the other stories, please do not dispair. 


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